14. Aug, 2014

Blood Bath!

My poor, kind and unassuming husband walked into the kitchen and almost had a heart attack, late last night. I was standing holding a knife whilst all around me, the walls, cooker, doors, skirting boards, the floor, the kitchen table and myself, were dripping in what looked nothing less than blood!

     My mouth was open but nothing was coming out (didn’t that make a change?) as I was speechless. I wanted to say that I hadn’t stabbed myself and burst an artery. It was the jam. It had exploded! My dear, kind and unassuming husband, with his cream trousers and shirt, was also soon to be covered in sticky, red hot jam! Thank heavens we didn’t get burnt.

     It all began when my friends and I picked fruit for jam making. It’s that time of year again when the jam jars are collected and so is the fruit. And although it was late, I decided to make a start. I had never thought for one moment, how dangerous jam making could be.

     All was going well, with the fruit bubbling away nicely on the stove. I had prepared the table with my new strainer, hanging above a bowl. This was to sieve the fruit overnight so in the morning, I would add a 1b of sugar to a pint of liquid and boil it all up again to make apple and blackberry jelly. But alas, disaster was about to strike.

     When the fruit was soft, I ladled it into the muslin cloth. Had I read the instructions first, as instructed by my kind and unassuming husband, then the disaster would have been avoided. But having made jam most of my life, and survived, I didn’t bother. So I continued to fill the rather large muslin cloth which instantly did its job and began sieving the fruit.

     Then without warning, the props collapsed and indeed, there appeared to be one almighty explosion of jam. Thank heavens I was not attacked badly.

      I could not believe how a bowlful of boiled fruit could paint the furniture and walls of my kitchen, in seconds. I am still cleaning it up today! For anyone doing ‘Up furniture’ then this is a brilliant way to go about it! I now have a red kitchen table, stove, patchy red floor and red spotted rugs to match!

      May I take this opportunity to warn all jam makers, not to do as I did and read the instructions! Lesson learnt....DO NOT OVERLOAD THE MUSLIN CLOTH!

 And to my dear and kind and unassuming husband who suffers much with my mistakes....I promise to listen in future! Oh, and by-the-way, I managed to make 2 jars of jelly just for you!