9. Dec, 2014

Worm Juice

All sorts of weird and wonderful creatures take shelter at our home for waifs and strays and sometimes weird and wonderful things happen. Take worms for instance. You would think they would be happy to stay underground, but we’ve discovered that they often prefer the comfort of our wormery. But one day, something happened which could have resulted in a crime investigation.

     First, let me tell you what a wormery is. This is a very simple environmentally friendly home for worms. It is furnished with such things as cooked and uncooked food waste, egg cartons and shredded paper which will eventually rot down to produced black gold!  This is the highest quality compost you will ever see, plus....wait for it, the worm juice. This is a liquid feed you can use for indoor and outdoor plants. It is worth informing you at this stage in the story that a wormery does not smell, as long as you avoid putting fish in it.

     Well back to the tale! At the bottom of our wormery there’s a tap, used to collect the worm juice. I was quiet surprised at the amount of liquid feed I managed to get for our plants. I saved the first lot of liquid in a wine bottle and forgot where I put it. This did not matter, as there was plenty more to come.

     A  year later, a friend of mine dashed into our home for waifs and strays and asked if I had a bottle of wine she could take to a party. You see, the village shop was shut. She knew that my kind and unassuming husband sometimes dabbles in the making of this beverage so I shouted from upstairs that she could help herself in the usual store cupboard but I didn’t think there was any there.

      A short while later she shouted up the stairs that she‘d found a bottle and went merrily off to the party. I thought nothing more of it, until the following morning when the phone rang.

     ‘What on earth was that awful wine you gave me last night?’ It was my friend speaking.

     ‘I can’t say,’ I replied innocently, ‘I didn’t see the bottle you took.’

     ‘Well it nearly killed some of the guests!’ she sounded stressed. ‘That kind and unassuming husband of yours should take up golf and leave the winemaking alone!’

     I was shocked to hear her talk of my dear husband in such a way. I have never participated in the drinking of alcohol so I could not say if it was good or not. Before I could say another word she continued.

     ‘I tried adding lemonade to it but quite frankly it stunk worse than anything I have ever smelt before. I think it was poison!’

     I suddenly remembered where I had put the worm juice!